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My mother-in-law, Edith, untypical
of most in-laws, became much to my surprise one of the most
"unforgettable" ladies I have come to know. Her
presence at any given time was to say the least most overwhelming
as she would arrive in a flurry like a blast of north wind
and immediately disrupt my well-organized routine. She
was not above expressing her opinion on any topic and always
believed she had a much better way of doing things than most
others. Her favourite dinnertime phrase would go like this
". . . I know you may not wish to hear this and I will
say no more, BUT . . . ," and on and on she would
continue. My first impressions were that of amazement
and frustration and I wondered how I would ever endure yet
another visit from this person who felt she needed to control
every situation. It was a second marriage for both my
husband and myself and being well adjusted, middle-aged, parents
we did not feel the need for anyone to rule our lives.
I soon
realized that with this flurry came a warmth and sincere heartfelt
love along with an occasional spur of the moment embracement
that would literally take my breath away. Her very presence
brought a brightness to life along with her endless good humour
and laughter. Edith had more spirit than anyone I had ever
met before and would probably ever meet again and she appreciated
each and every day, whether it was the beauty of a bright
and sunny morning, fragrant and colourful flowers, or the
lovely song of a bird. No matter what the circumstances
her cheerful "Good Morning" would always brighten
any day. She had boundless energy for her age and claimed
it was the result of a well-balanced diet and rest for the
body whenever the need arose. Often in the middle of a conversation
she would disappear and return later after a short nap to
carry on as if she never left. At first we were astonished
at these quirks of hers but soon learned to expect the unexpected
when she was around and her actions became a source of amusement.
She had a great admiration of the finer things in life
and enjoyed music and art. She also dabbled in poetry and
loved to sing; she was not above offering one of her
renditions whenever the occasion arose. I can recall one morning
at six o'clock when she called to sing "Happy Birthday"
wishes - a wonderful thought and a nice way to start
the day.
Edith was born and raised in Toronto
and after marriage left her family and friends and moved to
a small country village where she learned she had to adjust
to a different way of living in order to be accepted and earn
her place in the community - no easy task for a young bride.
She joined local groups with offers of her best advice whether
it was asked for or not and soon became known for her many
skills and talent. She worked for a period of time in
various stores in the village and was a great asset in her
knowledge of what would sell well; she added her artistic
talents to such things as trimmings on hats and knew how to
coordinate accessories.
Edith was known for her endless cornucopia of
hospitality and kindness to family, friends and neighbours
during illness, on festive occasions or whenever the need
arose. She could always come up with a can of ham (being
brought up during the depression she stored such things and
could at any time feed a small army) and always had the makings
of a dried flower arrangement which she could put together
to look like a professional piece on her way out the door
to bring cheer to someone in a time of need. I must
say Edith was not what the style experts would consider fashionable
and/or chic but held herself so proudly she appeared to be
endowed with such great elegance that she could stand with
the best of us and the envy of most.
Along with her virtues, Edith at
times displayed some very annoying ways that would tax the
patience of a saint and she could be quite contrary and obstinate
if things did not go quite as she had planned (and she planned
well ahead for everything) but these moods were short lived
and she would get on with life before she missed out on something
important. She was always ready at the drop of a hat
to venture out and missed very few opportunities to attend
functions, visit friends at home or in the hospital or just
to drive in the countryside.
Edith was quite adventurous and travel became
one of her enjoyments after she realized, much to everyone's
relief, that she was not going to be able to participate in
sky diving which was one of her many unfulfilled dreams. When
travelling on commercial airlines unsuspecting passengers
sitting next to her would on disembarking have revealed most
of their entire life history depending on the length of the
flight; she had a way of bringing out the best in people and
they generally would confide their thoughts and feelings to
her. She had a real interest in the lives and background
of others and would have some very interesting stories to
tell about people she met and interesting places she visited.
She often visited school children and talked about her
adventures.
Edith loved food and whatever the situation
or circumstances at the time always felt that food would help
get you through whatever was required of you and while most
did not agree with this theory it worked well for her. She
loved to dine at the better restaurants and expected good
service simply because she was as she quite often expressed
"a diabetic senior citizen" and much to the embarrassment
of family and friends she managed to get results. On
looking back now we realize these situations were quite humorous
although we were not amused at the time.
I knew Edith for such a short time
but her high spirits and sense of adventure had such an impact
on my life and even though she has since passed away her spirit
lives on and always will in our hearts and minds. From
what I have seen she must have been a great mother in that
she taught her children lessons in life that most of us will
never learn. They have only good, fond and happy memories
of growing up with the person who always took the time to
make their lives interesting and memorable. Some of
her lessons are used to this day in dealing with people and
circumstances - she stressed the fact that you should always
be your own person and that others can only rule your mind
if you allow them.
After her husband passed away, Edith
at the age of 80, found love and happiness with a gentleman
who greatly profited from her abundance of life and good humour
and they would dance the hours away on the kitchen floor.
The two of them were as different as night and day in
how they lived their daily lives and probably could never
have coexisted under the same roof but they complemented each
other; they were like young lovers experiencing things for
the first time and enjoying every minute. Unfortunately,
Edith did not live long enough to really enjoy her newfound
life and after a lengthy bout with cancer she passed away
with the dignity she showed all her life. I am not too
sure Heaven was ready for his woman but I am sure her presence
has made a difference.
Hardly a day goes by that we do not
recall some humourous incident or well-meant piece of advice
that she was always willing to offer and more often than not
proved to be beneficial. My first impressions of amazement
and frustration soon turned to feelings of awe and envy for
her contagious good humour and wonderful outlook on life.
We tend to look to material possessions to remember
those who have passed on but Edith left us a legacy that is
simply "priceless."
I am very thankful to have known
Edith and my life has been so enriched for having been a part
of this "unforgettable" lady's life.
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